How to best check in on a job application via email?

Offtopic
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I interviewed for a leadership role but was not selected. I want to send some emails to the recruiter and interviewer to show my appreciation. I drafted the email with AI and I changed the language a bit to get rid bits that I dont like or isn’t spekaing form my voice. I showed it to my friend and he said it’s too flowery and I need to tone it down.

What do you think? Do you think I should listen to my friend and ask Gemini to tone it down further?

Hi XYZ,

Thank you for the update, and my thanks to both you and ABC for your help in organising the interviews. I sincerely appreciate you bringing this opportunity to my attention.

While I was disappointed with the outcome, I am very grateful to X, Y, and Z for taking the time to provide such actionable feedback for my professional development.

I have written short thank-you notes for them below. Would you be able to please forward these on my behalf, if appropriate?

Best regards,

For A:

Dear A,

I want to thank you for the opportunity to interview for the DEF role in your team.

In particular, thank you for the candid feedback provided; while I won’t be joining your team at this time it gives me a clear professional development plan and a lot of respect for the high bar you set for your team.

I hope we can stay in touch, and I wish you and your team all the best.

Sincerely,

For B and C:

Dear B and C,

Thank you both for your time and for the insightful conversation during my interview. I particularly valued the questions you asked in the interview which gave me some interesting perspectives on the key challenges in modelling and managing teams.

It was a pleasure to meet you both, and I wish you all the best.

Sincerely,

2

Hello,
I would reiterate my interest in the company and in any future opportunities that may arise.

2 Likes
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I agree with your friend. Keep it short and simple, throw away the AI, and don’t try to get them to forward multiple distinct emails.

Recruiting is full of AI spam and slop. It’s easy to spit out lots of text. People don’t read lots of text. Make your point in three sentences — as though you yourself were talking! — or nobody will read it.

5 Likes
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Ok thanks.

5

Hi Recuiter,

Thanks for the update. I’d appreciate it if you could pass on my thanks to the panel for their honest and positive feedback — it’s genuinely helpful for my development.

Also thank you for reaching out and for organising everything

How about this?

1 Like
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Decided to go with this version which is in my own voice and AI-less (almost).

Hi Recruiter X,

Thank you for the update.

Please pass on my thanks to A for the honest and actionable feedback; it’s genuinely helpful for my development, and I know how rare it is for candidates to receive feedback like this.

Thank you for bringing this role to my attention and for organising all the interviews etc. I will be working on the development areas from the feedback and if a similarly senior role in AREA51 or AREA52 turns up in the future, I would highly appreciate a heads-up.

Hope our paths cross again in the future.

Best regards,
ME