That is not my position at all. I think we should try to get every scenario to work, that is why I’m trying to help you here to get to the bottom of what is going on with your setup.
The only thing I’m not keen is if statements like “I don’t know of anything that works on a Linux server connecting from Mac” are lingering around here on the forums. I have no doubt that your specific scenario right now is not working (and we should try to fix that!) but as far as I can tell the technical issues you are having are probably related to the specific combination of the remote access software you are using and VS Code (or maybe even electron, given that you said the same was true on Atom). But that does not even remotely cover the universe of scenarios that involve a Linux server and a Mac, and I don’t want the casual user that might visit these forums to get the impression that in general the Linux/Mac combo is not worth trying.
We mostly rely on telemetry to get a sense of what is going on with the user base. I can’t rule out that there is some bias introduced by the opt-in mechanism, but is seem unlikely to me that this would be a big effect.
I think for your specific situation, right now we are exploring two options, right? First, using the remote access software X-Quartz and second using the Remote SSH extension.
On the first option, the problem was that the e key was not mapped to the e letter, right? Did the information I posted here help with that issue? In particular, did you try to set the keyboard.dispatch setting to keyCode?
On the second option (using the Remote SSH extension), is there any reason why that wouldn’t work for you? Apologies if I missed anything you pointed out, but quickly reading over the thread, I didn’t see anything.
There might actually be a third option: you could try to use Visual Studio Codespaces with a self-hosted environment, the description for that is here. I haven’t used that option very much, so not entirely sure whether that might be a good option.
That is a bug on our end 
By far the best thing you can do in these cases is to send a crash report. There should be a UI option popping up whenever the language server crashes where you can just click “Yes” or “Send” or something like that. That will send information to the dev team of the extension that normally allows us to identify what is going on and then to fix things. We ship new versions of the extension pretty regularly (sometimes multiple times a week), and we’ve been on a big project during the last months to fix every single bug report that comes in via crash reporting. Still not done, but we are getting very close.